The Quilter’s Jeremiad: An essay by J.R. Armstrong

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Editor’s Note: Along with many other quilters before and since, J.R. Armstrong muses poetically about what might happen to her quilts, and those of others, once she departs this earth. Many folks have strong opinions. What do you think? Enjoy this essay by J.R. Armstrong.

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I hear several people lament how awful it is finding a quilt in a thrift shop or second-hand store—or, worse, the garbage. They wail about the fact that someone took time, energy, and money to make this for a certain person and here it is. 

“Did the person not appreciate it?” 

“Did they die and this is the best their family could do with it?” 

“Someone put a lot of love into this and look where it landed!” 

Think Deeply

I, too, have thought these thoughts. I’ve even been the recipient of two very old and worn-out quilts that my brother found at the Salvation Army and used to haul furniture for a friend and when they were done, offered them to me—or were they so bad he should throw them on the trash heap, he asked? No, I took and cleaned them, and have loved both knowing full well the work that went into them—they are completely hand done.

Another friend, after having bought a house that came with a lot of furnishings, looked out the window and saw her husband rolling a barrel toward the curb for garbage night. Across the face someone had written “Antique Quilts.” She immediately rescued the contents for me and, yes, we both wondered—the quilter and the non-quilter—why the kids wanted nothing of their parents.

In Search of Joy

We are all assuming quilts like these were made for other people and that the quilter got no joy from it.

So lately I’ve rethought this scenario asking myself, ‘why do I quilt?’ Very few times am I doing it for someone else. Most of the time, I have seen a quilt that I want to duplicate with my own fabrics, I have fallen in love with a certain pattern, or I have an idea on how to tweak a pattern and give it my own interpretation. 

I have made what I believe are some beautiful quilts. But do my kids want them? No. Sure they took their favorites but the rest I can dispose of as I see fit.

Make a Plan

And this is what I have seen fit to do. I have written out instructions (besides verbally telling my daughter), that after I’m gone my kids and grandkids get first pick (glory be, they might want to actually add to their very small piles) and after that I have a list of friends who I would like to have something personal from me. These are people who I think will appreciate them. 

What’s left—yes, I’ve made a lot, as most quilters have—can go wherever, with my blessing: family shelters, VA centers, nursing homes, the fire department to give to people who have lost their homes and everything in it, and so on. 

Take Peace in the Making

I made these quilts for myself. To satisfy my creative outlet. It’s wonderful that others love them, too—somewhere down the line someone will find these discards and grab them up. So many of us have found these ‘rejects,’ taken them home, and found a spot in our heart for them. And maybe, at some point, they will wonder about the person who made the quilt and realize that person was creative and would be happy to know that their quilt landed with someone who has loved it, slept under it, cried with it, and felt better snuggled up inside it. Even though we’ve never met.

So, the objective has been fulfilled.

Someone does love them; someone feels loved in them. 

Isn’t that all that matters?

This essay by J.R. Armstrong, originally appeared in Quilting Arts Magazine Summer 2024 as “the last word.” You can learn more about her here.

All photos courtesy of J.R. Armstrong